Like any child from the 90′s I remember Bird’s Eye’s advertising campaign featuring the eponymous captain.
The captain and his ‘crew,’ a motley band of children, would come on screen for less than 60 seconds in an advert break to advertise a new brand of frozen food. There was a bare minimum of narrative filling out the story of Captain Bird’s Eye and how he came to be in the Caribbean in a boat full of frozen fish and children.
And then one day, Cap’n bird’s Eye disappeared from our screens. I can’t place a date on it and a quick google reveals nothing, there was no outcry over his disappearance, no great public mourning for the passing of this great figure (from our screens). I only remembered while having a stream of random thinking so it’s unsurprising he went unnoticed.
What I want to know is what he’s doing now? My personal theory is that both The Captain and the crew are still locked in some advertising studio somewhere. It’s basically Lord Of The Flies only with the Captain acting as benevolent dictator.
The constitution of the people of Studio 4 is drawn up from their contracts. The Captain being the only character that can read (the children were born and raised in the Studio) has assumed the position of power. He is in charge of rationing the supply of frozen food, slowly thawing out in the hold of the ship. Some products have been used for farming, such as frozen peas, however the bad soil on the treasure island (set) means farming is labour intensive and low yielding.
Fast forward several years and the children have grown into adults, the Captain is rapidly going mad, abusing his position of power and building a throne from fish fingers and the food is all gone. The ‘children’ unable to emote anything except faked happiness wander round with blank faces. Little does the Captain know a revolution is stirring, hungry and angry the ‘children’ are plotting to overthrow and eat the Captain. Locked in his quarters screaming at the non-existent first-mate and sobbing over the death of his plastic parrot, the Captain is unable to defend himself; a poor old-man is going to be killed and eaten by people raised in a studio (Studio 4) and you’re doing nothing? You must do something before a mob of blank faced troglodytes eat the vulnerable!
Anyone know anything more plausible?
